Okay guys, so I’m writing this post in the hopes that you will actually take it and apply it. It is close to my heart because I’ve dealt with it personally, and I still do. That is part of why I felt such a strong need to talk about it!
How many of you have been given unwanted advice for your relationship? I would guess close to everyone has. I definitely have. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think seeking advice for your marriage is great. You should be seeking information to better your relationship. I mean, that is a third of what I’m doing here. However, sometimes you don’t want or need it.
My husband and I have been told that we should spend less time together, that we should make each other wonder where we’ve been or who we’ve talked to about a million and one times. We have heard this since our relationship started over 7 years ago. What bothers me so much about this advice is not only that I do not agree with it for our marriage, but that many of the people we heard it from had major issues in their own relationship (If they were in a relationship at all).
I think that knowledge is EVERYWHERE (I’m actually writing a post on it). I do not think the people who have given this advice are stupid or are doomed to bad relationships forever. All I can say is that every relationship is different, and none of them are perfect. I don’t want anyone to take this post in the wrong way. I think that valuable advice can come from very unexpected places, but in the same respect, very bad advice can come from the same unexpected source. You have to decide what advice you apply.
Let me just say, if Devin (my husband) and I listened to every piece of relationship advice we’ve gotten we would be in trouble. What many do not understand is that your relationship and my relationship do not have the same needs. My husband and I absolutely Love spending time together. Lots of time. We’ve worked together in the past and enjoyed every second of it. We would rather hang out with each other than anyone else. It’s not that we don’t like people, it’s that we just eat up the time we spend together. We haven’t gotten bored at all yet (we’re just SOO interesting hah), but if we do we know that it’s okay. We can just spend time doing things separately so that we can reconnect afterwards.
My preferences may be completely different than yours, though. Maybe you get heckled for not eating together at a dinner table, or perhaps your family and friends think you should be staying home with your kids instead of treating yourselves to a date night. My advice (if you want it ;)) is to determine what is best for you and your partner. Listen to your gut, pray about it, talk to each other. I Love getting marriage advice from others, but I know that it is not mandatory to apply all of it. So many people get swayed or manipulated by the views of others, please don’t be one of them.
If you can take anything away from this, I would urge you to just be careful, use your better judgement, and put your marriage first. Don’t ignore the advice others give, but analyze it carefully. Does it make sense for your relationship? Will it make both of you happier? Not all growth is positive, use the advice that will force you in the correct direction. It is different for everyone, so just do what you know is right. It is working for us so far.
Let’s talk! Pretty please leave me any comments about any good or bad advice you have received in regards to your relationship. I would Love to hear about it!
P.S. If you want challenge yourself to improve your relationship, finances, and purpose each week, then check out my Weekly Challenge Wednesday videos!